One More Families' Story

From: "Magoo" <Magoo44@charter.net>
Subject: One More Families' Story
Date: Sat, 6 Mar 2004 17:01:30 -0800

This was sent to me recently, with an OK to tell others, as long as I removed the time, and location. I have, so those are the ____ points. Amazing, that I even have to do that, or they have to worry about it. I wish these people well, and I once more Tell Scientology (C of S) this / Disconnection and enforced realities is what is killing you. Here's another, telling their story:

Dear Tory,

I have been lurking on OCMB for approximately two years and have enjoyed reading your posts. I finally decided to contact you personally because I really need to tell someone my story who might understand.

I got into Scientology in ____in 19__, although I had first heard about it from ___ in ____. He started telling me about data in History of Man and it fascinated me....of course I was stoned at the time!!!

At any rate, I did a comm course at the _______,mission and went on to do the Ethics Course and some Life Repair at the _____. I also experienced the high pressure reg techniques of the "Postulate Check", etc. which was popular in the early 70's...totally nuts, but intimidating when you're captive in a car, seated between two mafia-type guy reg's...oh, and pregnant at the time and desperate. I had dropped out of the University of _____ after many years, totally alienated from my parents, doing pot and LSD fairly regularly, had lived in _____ and was currently wandering the country in search of .....something??? MY LIFE WAS A MESS, and I was totally on my own...not asking for help from parents or family...in other words completely disconnected from the very people who could and should help me. As a result, I was ripe for the likes of the COS.

I soon left _____ in order to get away from drugs and the "love of my life" who didn't love me. I eventually landed in ____, checked out the Org there, visited the staff house, where I could live, but it was such an incredible pig sty, I couldn't even consider spending an hour there. I finally heard about a mission in _____ . I hitchiked there and found ____ and a new life, of sorts. I settled in ____for two and a half years. I worked and did courses and auditing at night. I also worked on weekends in exchange for auditing. I was totally dedicated and determined to do the training side of the Bridge because I wanted to free others from pain similar to mine.

I did the Comm Course and it was the best experience I had in Scientology! We did TR-0 through TR-8, clay demo's theta, etc....very steep gradient, but very good for recovering druggies who were somewhat intelligent, but still stupid and naive.

I then did the ____ Course, also very interesting because it was run by ______, Sad part is...she was a heavy smoker and didn't have a great diet. She became very ill with cancer. The Mission had some of the Comm Course students watching over ___, who deteriorated rapidly...much later, ______ (also a heavy smoker) died from lung cancer in LA. The ____, who had been in the Sea Org, would not allow Sea Org Members into the Mission and they were always telling us not to look at the people in Scientology...just concentrate on the tech. I repeated that mantra every time I ran into something which seemed so bizarre (which was often.) The _____ eventually sold the Mission to ____ ( I think) and moved to ____along with several of the their students. ____ was slowly dying, ______ She also was going to a clinic in Mexico for treatments by a squirrely healer down there....weird stuff.

At that point, I got on course at the ____Org...did the PRD, the HSDC Course and Internship, the Academy Levels and then blew. Mid Levels, LRH came out with the Conditional Levels deal where you didn't need to audit on the Levels...you did all your auditing on the Internship. What a Crock of Shit!!!! Just put in to speed up the process, because there were no pcs...they were stuck in endless Dianetic and Drug Rundown auditing. No one was making it to the Levels unless they were professsional pcs. The Org was a mess down there...the Ka Khan Body Reg was giving blow jobs to sailors in order to get her "stats up." She wore long granny dresses and went barefoot...a real stellar example of a staff member. Oh, and by the way, Bill and Ruth Bowen were both on staff at the time. Bill was a reg and reminded me of a slimey used car salesman...didn't like or trust him. "Ruthie" was a cute, sweet girl who couldn't get through a course cause she couldn't study....stupid, maybe? Later I heard he was working for Border Patrol and then selling "gemstones" for some creepy fast-buck Scientologist. Amazed when they made it big in Scientology...just goes to show.....

The Ed of the Org was comm ev'd for "____ activity" or some stupid thing like that. I couldn't stand the place, so I took off for ____ and then to ____ where I worked at a Scientology company and did courses at the ____ Mission, which, by the way was upstat but rife with out 2-D! The ED was screwing around as was a couple of his OT 3, CL 6 auditors....meanwhile, I'm still repeating the MANTRA.....Finally, blow back to LA and within a few months sign up for the SHSBC. On that for almost 3 years, during which time they change the checksheets approximately 4 times. For a while all we did was TRS because they had no pcs for us...all stuck on Academy Levels or trying to get through the Dianetic and then Natural Clear crap. During that time, I saw people who had been on the XDN Course have to redo it at least 4 times, cause LRH was supposedly tweaking it....all at their own expense, of course.

I finally took a "break(blow)" to do the Purif, which I did at the Hollywood Y and various other places for approximately 6 weeks. Was on it with ____ and _____ (OT's, CL 8's...____ a smoker, now dead from cancer.....(rest deleted due to material that might expose this person.) I met my husband during this cycle...married him within some months and blew back to _____ with him. I left my then- current 2D, _____, I hid in ____ for years, doing courses occasionally...finally paid for my OT Levels and did them in ___, while separated from my husband. My FSM was a great guy named _____ who was on the ship with his wife, ______...both very high up and dedicated. He was very helpful to me and I am grateful. Later, I paid for and did OT5 once...twice...and finally went back for a third time in 19__.

I was there twice when they were tweaking it ...then GAT, etc...never able to get through...not cause of me...cause of their "making it better." What a crock! The last time was the straw that broke everything. I had paid over $___,000...was told by Steve Kemper and Karen Hackenberg that I could definitely make it through now with the number of intensives I had paid for. I took two weeks..drove out...leaving my ___-year old daughter and husband to fend for themselvs. When I got out there, I was OF COURSE told that due to GAT, my hours estimate had changed...I now needed 3-4 intensives of Eligibility and Preps and THEN I COULD START NOTS AGAIN. Mind you, there were no reports of out-ethics..it was just standard procedure now.

I was so angry...I had ____in tears....she knew they had fucked me over, but there was nothing she could do about it...she pleaded with me to go into session..."it would be so much better than anything I had ever done..."...I didn't know how to leave without major problems, so I went in. they had promised intensive auditing, but, of course, the lineup was full so I got approximately 2 hours of auditing a day...good auditor, _____, but no amount of it could take away that deep feeling of betrayal. I am a fast pc and they could find nothing in ethics to deter me, so the CS told me that I could probably finish Nots if I purchased another 3 intensives...that would have been another $15,000 at least. I had already made my obligatory trip to the 18-year old EO before starting my auditing ...I reamed him out for asking once again about that trip to the psychologist when I was 20!

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!!! The Bullshit just never ends. I finally finished 13 hours in 2 1/2 weeks, said my goodbyes and ran away from there....I couldn't wait to get home to my family. I felt so betrayed and disgusted. I was very depressed and angry for about two years. My daughter had also hit puberty and was having a very rough time. My husband, a great guy, didn't know what to do with the unhappy women in his life. He tried pulling witholds on the kid, but that just made her more angry and as for me, I was always suppressing anger... until I discovered OC! The stories on there really resonated with me and finally helped me to disconnect from the Church, at least mentally.

I couldn't tell my husband for a long time, but I finally did. He went through a lot trying to understand how someone who had been "in for over ___ years" could just change her mind. But that's exactly what happened...I just changed my mind and I emphasized to him that it was my right to do that. I didn't want to cause trouble for him...he wrote up the situation several times but received no help from AO...just more of the "have her come out and get some auditing to handle the ARCx." I think he finally was able to see that no one was going to help, because it has nothing to do with their purpose, which is to forward the "church party line" and "never apologize." Meanwhile, my kid was going down the tubes...had threatened suicide and even halfway attempted it...major nightmare for any parent, but particularly for "OT's" who didn't seem to be able to do anything about it!

After my child had pleaded with me for two years to get her some help and after I had tried Scn. and the Christian Church thing with her, I finally made an appointment with a psychologist, over my husband's weak protests. I HAD TO SAVE THIS KID'S LIFE AND SALVAGE MY FAMILY! We couldn't take her to an ORG with this suicide stuff...didn't want her labeled and treated like a leper....so I finally listened TO HER. She eventually went to a _____ who recommended, due to chronic severe depression, that she be put on _____, a mild anti-depressant. We also changed schools...took her out of private and put her into public school (had to overcome my years long fear of school in general, thanks to the SCN brainwashing!)

My husband fought all this, but halfheartedly, because he loves his kid and wants desperately to help her. Amazingly, it HAS HELPED. She is happy, active and healthy today, after these changes. My daughter was a real example of a kid who just flipped at a certain age due to hormones, biochemistry or whatever. She turned from an energetic, happy girl to a monster within two years and it was hell on earth in our family during that time. We are coming out of it, but it is due to the "Psychs," not the Scientologists, that we were helped.

Tory, there is so much more to this story. My husband still considers himself a Scientologist and hopes to do Bridge again some day. I have told him that it would be difficult (read impossible) because of our connnection to psychs and the fact that______. He is in denial over that...will have to come to that realization on his own. I have offered to divorce him or sign a paper saying that he knew nothing about what I did, but he loves me and our family and it hasn't come to that.

I really don't know what the future will bring, though. Maybe you can clarify for me what the Church might do to him as a result of my actions. I don't care what they do to me, but I don't want to hurt him. No one really knows that I am out, but I am very close to just telling every one who calls and writes that I've had enough! I also know at least 3 other OT's who have or are in the process of disconnecting....very interesting stories, which I might share with you some day.

Any way, I just wanted to write to you...not ready for OCMB just yet. You can share some of this with others, but not specifics as to time and place. Perhaps I can contact you the next time I am in LA...would love to dish about the old days with you and others.

Again, thank you Tory for being so candid and forthcoming with your stories...they truly helped me to leave and, in doing so, save my child.

Thank you,

XXXXX (Name withheld to protect the innocent) mid OT++++++++++++++ PRD, HSDC, ACAD Levels Class auditor (mid, mid mid) In for ((Over 20)) years Free at last!

Tory/Magoo Dancing in the moonlight
In Scientology for 30 years
Happily out for 3 years, 7 months
For thinking and speaking my mind, I am:
Declared SP, and Expelled (SP 6 ^with Cumulative Cluster)
A Free Speech Advocate
Free at last!!!
For more information, please see:
http://www.xenu.net
http://www.xenutv.com
http://www.torymagoo.org
http://www.lermanet.com/cos/toryonosa.htm
http://www.altreligionscientology.org

magoo44@Charter.net
(818) 588-3044
Burbank, CA